shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
