I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
