Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
