Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
