I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
