David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
