She is in my trunk
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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