fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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