dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
