I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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