Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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