i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
