It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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