Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I party with great urgency now.
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