your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
