who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
