I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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