I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
