What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
