the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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