I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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