new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
