An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
