Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
