weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
