Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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