it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
