im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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