all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
