Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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