my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
