You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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