planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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