dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
