I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
should my penis look like a turkey
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
