I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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