Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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