Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
