Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
