Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
