did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
