Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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