Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
