I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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