Do you still have your period?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
false alarm. still invincible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
