Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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