Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
