ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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