i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
