you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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