But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
