I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
