one two three fourrrrnication!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
