Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
