I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
