your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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