I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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