Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
