you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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