did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
