): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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