I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
