I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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