Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
