At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
