I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
