We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
